Eight Nuggets To Help Heal Your Marriage
1. To love one another deeply for a lifetime will require that you recognize God as the head of your union. The reason this is vital is because, when times are difficult, (notice I said when and not if) you will be reminded that, you not only made a vow and commitment to your spouse but also to God. As a Christian woman your first desire should be to please and honor God even above your husband.
Honoring your vow to God will automatically mean that you honor your commitment to your spouse. Your love for God will directly affect the way you respond to your spouse. Therefore, having a great relationship with God is critical.
When things are difficult seek God for your answers, pray and spend time in His word. Get a note pad and journal your thoughts and prayers and He will reveal to you answers for your situation. Listen for His voice.
2. Remember love truly is a choice. Choose to love your mate even when it’s hard. Don’t sweat the small things. You can choose to love and and honor God by choosing to love and respect your mate. I am fully aware that this is not always easy, but that’s where ” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me “comes in. This is where we have to rely on God’s strength to get us through those tough days. Your mate is a gift from God even on the days that are hard. In those difficult times God uses those experiences to draw us closer to Him and one another. Through this process, He changes our character and makes us a better person and a better spouse. He also increases our faith in His abilities to change our situation as we start to see Him work.
3. Be willing to hang in there. When the two of you have weathered storms together, you become bonded even closer through the process. You grow to appreciate each other so much more. You are not just physically one, but through the process of enduring tough times your two hearts become woven together as one heart. This is when your love will grow deeper. You will hurt when your spouse hurts, you will experience joy when they have joy etc. You will start to be in sync with one another, not at odds with one another. You will only want the best for each other other.
4. Communicate your honest and true feelings and be willing to listen and have a heart of compassion towards your mate as he expresses his feelings. Remember you may not be the only one that is hurting or that is upset in this situation. Pray together and ask God to heal your marriage and bring peace in into your home and peace between the two of you.
5. Be willing to work on you. Start working on being the best person and the best spouse that you can be. Remember, only God can change your spouse. You cannot make a grown person do anything, but you can work on yourself.
6. Be kind and respectful to your spouse. Remember, he is God’s gift to you, so handle him with love and care. You will be Blessed for doing so.
7. Sometimes it may be best to hold your comments until you can formulate them into a more respectful response. We don’t always need to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Use your filter. Harsh words spoken can never be taken back.
8. Love your mate the way you desire to be loved.
For those in crisis:
Unfortunately, there are some marriages that may have become very dysfunctional. If you are in an abusive situation, you must set boundaries to protect yourself. Pray and ask God to connect you with the right Professional Christian Counseling Service for guidance and help.
If you are being physically abused, don’t allow it to continue in secret. As long as it is a secret your abuser has power over you. When you share be sure it is with someone you really trust. Seek help through a Professional Christian Counseling Service and or your Local Women’s Shelter.
That way safety can be provided for you and your children.
Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV)
4 An excellent[a] wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV)
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
1 Peter 3 (NKJV)
3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merelyoutward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Proverbs 31:10-12 (NKJV)
10 Who[a] can find a virtuous[b] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
“In Him,we live and MOVE and have our being”..Act17:28
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