To Have And To Hold
Matthew 19:6
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Mark 10:9
9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Ephesians 5:33
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Earlier this month I attended a wedding. I must say that, the bride looked absolutely stunning! As she approach the groom he just beamed with joy. Watching his bride being escorted down the aisle by her father was almost more than he could take.
The bridesmaid dresses were lovely and the groomsmen look sharp in their appointed attire. Every single table was decorated beautifully. Everything as far as I could tell went as they had planned.
This morning as I was thinking back over the event, I wondered if this sweet couple had put as much thought into planning their future together as they had put into planning their wedding day. I wondered if they really knew what they had signed up for. Did they understand what death until we do part means? I wondered if they had really thought through what for richer or poorer would look like or even in sickness and in health.
You see what I know for sure, is that life can throw us some serious curve balls. It’s during those moments, days, months and even sometimes years that life can become very stressful. I also know that if not handled properly, stress can rip a marriage apart. All of a sudden the joy that you experienced on your wedding day is a distant memory, as you look in the rear view mirror of your marriage.
Satan sits back and waits for the perfect opportunity to plant seeds of doubt and confusion, and if you are not very careful you will start to doubt your choice for your life partner and your decision to commit to such sacred marriage vows.
On the flip side marriage can also be the most wonderful blissful thing that you will ever experience, but to maintain it requires work. And be very clear, it will never be that way one hundred percent of the time, simply because we are humans and humans are not perfect beings. We mess up, we make mistakes and to be honest we simply disengage at times.
With that being said, I would like to share a few tips on how to not just be married, but how to be happily married. Remember these tips only make a difference if you implement them.
Tips For A Happy Marriage
1. Always see and respect God as the Head of your marriage.
2. Communicate. Communication is key! When most couples are dating they can’t wait to get to talk to each other. Remember frequent communication and transparency are important to the marriage relationship.
3. Trust. Never give your spouse a reason to distrust you. Trust and honesty are the foundations of the relationship.
4. Forgive. Forgiveness is important to the longevity of your relationship. Be willing to forgive as you desire to be forgiven when you mess up.
5. Respect. Always respect each other’s opinions. You don’t have to agree but they are entitled to their own opinion.
6. Date. One of the biggest mistakes that married couples make is that they stop dating. Reserve a day of the week and a time specifically for a date. You will actually start to look forward to a time when the two of you escape from the rest of the world and just enjoy each other’s company.
7. Never go to bed angry.
8. Pray. Pray together daily. Prayer puts a hedge of protection around you and your family.
9. Dream and plan together. Set goals and create vision boards for you and your spouse. Write down your goals. Enjoy this process together.
10. Support one another’s career goals and dreams.
11. Fight fair. Disagreements from time to time are normal in marriage. Don’t bring up things from the past that you have forgiven or things that are hurtful to your spouse. Stick to the subject at hand. Converse without yelling and screaming or bullying.
12. Submit to one another and serve one another.
13. Physical and Sexual intimacy are important in a marriage. Never withhold sex from your partner as a punishment. This can cause serious issues in your marriage. Only withhold if you both are in agreement that you need to refrain for a short period of time.
14. Have financial goals that you agree on. Disagreement on the way money is being handled or the lack of, can cause huge problems in a marriage and it can also cause distrust. Set aside a time once or twice a month to have a meeting regarding how things are going regarding your goal.
15. Watch your words. Life and death are in the tongue. Never purposely use words to hurt the one you love.
16. Decide that the “D” word is not welcome in your home. Never say the word divorce when you are angry or frustrated.
17. Have a Giving goal. Always make giving to others a part of your marriage.
18. No secrets! Don’t have secrets from one another. Secrets can destroy a relationship. Remember your marriage is built on trust, so always be honest.
19. Never stop discovering new things about each other.
20. Do not share ugly unflattering things about your spouse with your family and friends when you are upset. Keep your family out of your business.
21. Plan a trip for just the two of you for a getaway every so often or as often as permitted.
22. Children are a blessing and a gift from God, but they do not take priority over your spouse. Your spouse always comes first after God.
23. Keep humor and a lot of laughter in your relationship and in your home.
24. Decide who’s going to do what chores.
25. Respect each other’s family members.
26. Say I love you to your spouse every day. When you leave for the day give a parting kiss, and when you return greet each other with a kiss.
27. Remember your spouse is a gift from God always love and respect them in a way that makes God proud.
Ephesians 5:25
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 4:2-3
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Romans 12:10
10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
John 15:12
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Ephesians 5:25
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 4:2-3
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Romans 12:10
10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
John 15:12
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
